If we avoid talking or thinking about the things that have happened to us, it keeps us mentally stuck. People may say “I feel everything; if anything, I have too many feelings- I'm not pushing anything down”, it may sound strange, but even you are probably keeping things down without realizing. It's not just feelings unconscious, but also thoughts and memories. Too many feelings is usually about not being able to soothe yourself and needing other people to regulate your feelings for you. Please know that just because you're feeling a lot, it doesn't mean you are not avoiding things.
Things that happen when you avoid things:
- You have lots of physical issues such as constant flu and colds.
- You struggle to relax.
- You feel numb, tired and depressed.
- You see yourself as pretty chilled person but then find yourself overreacting or blowing up at small things.
- You have low self-esteem.
- You have many racing thoughts, often feeling very anxious and unable to stop worrying.
- You're constantly distracted- by TV, drinking, overeating, working. You don't like being alone with your thoughts
- You don't often cry or get angry.
- You suffer with addiction.
- You create rituals to avoid feelings.
- You tend to self-sabotage or engage with self-destructive behaviors.
- You feel lonely even when with people, as if no one really knows you.
- You can't be in the moment and often have brain fog and feel absent minded.
It is important to know that most of the time we are not aware that we are pushing our feelings down. It all happens outside of our control. Many people who suffer with no awareness that they are repressing anything. Many people are not even aware of the extent to which they are suffering. You might recognize some of these things in yourself. But this doesn't mean you are broken, it just means that you are human.
Healing starts with gentle awareness. t’s not about forcing yourself to face everything all at once, but slowly creating space for what’s been buried. Start by noticing how you feel, even in small moments. Allow your emotions to exist without judgment. Healing doesn’t happen by ignoring your pain; it happens when you allow yourself to feel safe enough to face it. We all have our own mental health in the same way that we all have our own physical health. Seek help if you need to. You don’t have to be alone in going through these. Healing begins with awareness and grows with gentle, consistent care.
